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    Emotional Intelligence

    Find out what emotional intelligence is, and learn how you can develop yours.

    Article • 9 min read

    Emotional Intelligence

    Emotional Intelligence Developing Strong "People Skills"


    By the Mind Tools Content Team

    We probably all know people, either at work or in our personal lives, who are really good listeners. No matter what kind of situation we're in, they always seem to know just what to say – and how to say it – so that we're not offended or upset. They're caring and considerate, and even if we don't find a solution to our problem, we usually leave feeling more hopeful and optimistic.

    Click here to view a transcript of this video.

    We probably also know people who are masters at managing their emotions. They don't get angry in stressful situations. Instead, they have the ability to look at a problem and calmly find a solution. They're excellent decision makers, and they know when to trust their intuition. Regardless of their strengths, however, they're usually willing to look at themselves honestly. They take criticism well, and they know when to use it to improve their performance.

    People like this have a high degree of emotional intelligence. They know themselves very well, and they're also able to sense the emotional needs of others.

    Would you like to be more like this?

    As more and more people accept that emotional intelligence is just as important to professional success as technical ability, organizations are increasingly using it when they hire and promote.

    For example, one large cosmetics company recently revised their hiring process for salespeople to choose candidates based on their emotional intelligence. The result? People hired with the new system have sold, on average, $91,000 more than salespeople selected under the old system. There has also been significantly lower staff turnover among the group chosen for their emotional intelligence.

    So, what exactly is emotional intelligence, and what can you do to improve yours?

    What Is Emotional Intelligence?

    We all have different personalities, different wants and needs, and different ways of showing our emotions. Navigating through this all takes tact and cleverness – especially if we hope to succeed in life. This is where emotional intelligence becomes important.

    Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize your emotions, understand what they're telling you, and realize how your emotions affect people around you. It also involves your perception of others: when you understand how they feel, this allows you to manage relationships more effectively.

    People with high emotional intelligence are usually successful in most things they do. Why? Because they're the ones that others want on their team. When people with high emotional intelligence send an email, it gets answered. When they need help, they get it. Because they make others feel good, they go through life much more easily than people who are easily angered or upset.

    Characteristics of Emotional Intelligence

    In his book titled "Emotional Intelligence - Why It Can Matter More Than IQ" 1995, Daniel Goleman, an American psychologist, developed a framework of five elements that define emotional intelligence:

    Self-Awareness – People with high emotional intelligence are usually very self-aware. They understand their emotions, and because of this, they don't let their feelings rule them. They're confident – because they trust their intuition and don't let their emotions get out of control.

    They're also willing to take an honest look at themselves. They know their strengths and weaknesses, and they work on these areas so they can perform better. Many people believe that this self-awareness is the most important part of emotional intelligence.

    Self-Regulation – This is the ability to control emotions and impulses. People who self-regulate typically don't allow themselves to become too angry or jealous, and they don't make impulsive, careless decisions. They think before they act. Characteristics of self-regulation are thoughtfulness, comfort with change, integrity, and the ability to say no.

    Motivation – People with a high degree of emotional intelligence are usually motivated. They're willing to defer immediate results for long-term success. They're highly productive, love a challenge, and are very effective in whatever they do.

    Empathy – This is perhaps the second-most important element of emotional intelligence. Empathy is the ability to identify with and understand the wants, needs, and viewpoints of those around you. People with empathy are good at recognizing the feelings of others, even when those feelings may not be obvious. As a result, empathetic people are usually excellent at managing relationships, listening, and relating to others. They avoid stereotyping and judging too quickly, and they live their lives in a very open, honest way.

    Social Skills – It's usually easy to talk to and like people with good social skills, another sign of high emotional intelligence. Those with strong social skills are typically team players. Rather than focus on their own success first, they help others develop and shine. They can manage disputes, are excellent communicators, and are masters at building and maintaining relationships.

    Terms reproduced by permission of Bloomsbury Press.

    As you've probably determined, emotional intelligence can be a key to success in your life – especially in your career. The ability to manage people and relationships is very important in all leaders, so developing and using your emotional intelligence can be a good way to show others the leader inside of you.

    स्रोत : www.mindtools.com

    Emotional Intelligence Skills: 5 Components of EQ

    Psychologists suggest there are five key emotional intelligence skills. Learn more about how you can improve your EQ (emotional intelligence quotient).


    5 Key Emotional Intelligence Skills

    By Kendra Cherry Updated on January 26, 2022

    Medically reviewed by Amy Morin, LCSW, Editor-in-Chief

    Emotional intelligence skills are abilities that allow you to understand and manage your emotions. These skills are linked to a range of benefits including academic achievement, decision-making abilities, and overall success in life. Some experts have suggested that emotional intelligence, or EQ, might even be more important than IQ.

    What Is Emotional Intelligence?

    Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize, manage, and understand emotions. This includes the ability to recognize, interpret, and regulate your own emotions as well as those of other people.

    What does it take to be emotionally intelligent? According to psychologist Daniel Goleman, who popularized and wrote extensively about the concept, there are five components of emotional intelligence.

    This article discusses what you can do to learn to improve these emotional intelligence skills. By working on and increasing these skills, you can become more emotionally intelligent and raise your EQ.

    How Emotionally Intelligent Are You?

    1 Self-Awareness

    Tom Werner / Getty Images

    Self-awareness, or the ability to recognize and understand your own emotions, is a critical emotional intelligence skill. Beyond just recognizing your emotions, however, is being aware of the effect of your actions, moods, and emotions on other people.1

    To become self-aware, you must be capable of monitoring your own emotions, recognizing different emotional reactions, and then correctly identifying each particular emotion. Self-aware individuals also recognize the relationships between the things they feel and how they behave.

    These individuals also recognize their own strengths and limitations, are open to new information and experiences, and learn from their interactions with others. Goleman suggests that people who possess self-awareness have a good sense of humor, are confident in themselves and their abilities, and are aware of how other people perceive them.2

    How to Improve Self-Awareness

    Ask for constructive feedback

    Keep a journal Learn new skills Meditate

    Pay attention to your thoughts and emotions

    Pursue your passions

    Practice mindfulness

    Reflect on your experiences

    Set goals

    Use positive self-talk

    Work on building a growth mindset

    Press Play for Advice On Growth

    Hosted by Editor-in-Chief and therapist Amy Morin, LCSW, this episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast shares how to build a growth mindset. Click below to listen now.

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    2 Self-Regulation

    10'000 Hours / Getty Images

    In addition to being aware of your own emotions and the impact you have on others, emotional intelligence requires you to be able to regulate and manage your emotions.1

    This doesn't mean putting emotions on lockdown and hiding your true feelings—it simply means waiting for the right time and place to express them. Self-regulation is all about expressing your emotions appropriately.

    Those who are skilled in self-regulation tend to be flexible and adapt well to change. They are also good at managing conflict and diffusing tense or difficult situations.

    People with strong self-regulation skills also tend to be high in conscientiousness.3 They are thoughtful about how they influence others, and they take responsibility for their own actions.

    How to Improve Self-Regulation

    Be mindful of your thoughts and feelings

    Build distress tolerance skills

    Find ways to manage difficult emotions

    Look at challenges as opportunities

    Practice communication skills

    Recognize that you have a choice in how you respond

    Use cognitive reframing to change thought patterns and emotional responses

    Work on accepting your emotions

    3 Social Skills

    Hinterhaus Productions / Getty Images

    Being able to interact well with others is another important aspect of emotional intelligence.4 Having strong social skills allows people to build meaningful relationships with other people and develop a stronger understanding of themselves and others.

    True emotional understanding involves more than just understanding your own emotions and those of others. You also need to be able to put this information to work in your daily interactions and communications.

    In professional settings, managers benefit by being able to build relationships and connections with employees. Workers benefit from being able to develop a strong rapport with leaders and co-workers. Important social skills include active listening, verbal communication skills, nonverbal communication skills, leadership, and persuasiveness.

    स्रोत : www.verywellmind.com

    Improving Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

    Using these 4 key skills, you can improve your emotional intelligence and increase your success at work, school, and in your relationships.

    emotional intelligence

    Improving Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

    Improving Emotional Intelligence (EQ) When it comes to happiness and success in life, EQ matters just as much as IQ. Learn how you can boost your emotional intelligence, build stronger relationships, and achieve your goals.

    What is emotional intelligence or EQ?

    Emotional intelligence (otherwise known as emotional quotient or EQ) is the ability to understand, use, and manage your own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict. Emotional intelligence helps you build stronger relationships, succeed at school and work, and achieve your career and personal goals. It can also help you to connect with your feelings, turn intention into action, and make informed decisions about what matters most to you.

    Emotional intelligence is commonly defined by four attributes:

    Self-management – You're able to control impulsive feelings and behaviors, manage your emotions in healthy ways, take initiative, follow through on commitments, and adapt to changing circumstances.Self-awareness – You recognize your own emotions and how they affect your thoughts and behavior. You know your strengths and weaknesses, and have self-confidence.Social awareness – You have empathy. You can understand the emotions, needs, and concerns of other people, pick up on emotional cues, feel comfortable socially, and recognize the power dynamics in a group or organization.Relationship management – You know how to develop and maintain good relationships, communicate clearly, inspire and influence others, work well in a team, and manage conflict.

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    Why is emotional intelligence so important?

    As we know, it's not the smartest people who are the most successful or the most fulfilled in life. You probably know people who are academically brilliant and yet are socially inept and unsuccessful at work or in their personal relationships. Intellectual ability or your intelligence quotient (IQ) isn't enough on its own to achieve success in life. Yes, your IQ can help you get into college, but it's your EQ that will help you manage the stress and emotions when facing your final exams. IQ and EQ exist in tandem and are most effective when they build off one another.

    Emotional intelligence affects:

    Your performance at school or work. High emotional intelligence can help you navigate the social complexities of the workplace, lead and motivate others, and excel in your career. In fact, when it comes to gauging important job candidates, many companies now rate emotional intelligence as important as technical ability and employ EQ testing before hiring.Your physical health. If you're unable to manage your emotions, you are probably not managing your stress either. This can lead to serious health problems. Uncontrolled stress raises blood pressure, suppresses the immune system, increases the risk of heart attacks and strokes, contributes to infertility, and speeds up the aging process. The first step to improving emotional intelligence is to learn how to manage stress.Your mental health. Uncontrolled emotions and stress can also impact your mental health, making you vulnerable to anxiety and depression. If you are unable to understand, get comfortable with, or manage your emotions, you'll also struggle to form strong relationships. This in turn can leave you feeling lonely and isolated and further exacerbate any mental health problems.

    [Read: Building Better Mental Health]

    Your relationships. By understanding your emotions and how to control them, you're better able to express how you feel and understand how others are feeling. This allows you to communicate more effectively and forge stronger relationships, both at work and in your personal life.Your social intelligence. Being in tune with your emotions serves a social purpose, connecting you to other people and the world around you. Social intelligence enables you to recognize friend from foe, measure another person's interest in you, reduce stress, balance your nervous system through social communication, and feel loved and happy.

    Building emotional intelligence: Four key skills to increasing your EQ

    The skills that make up emotional intelligence can be learned at any time. However, it's important to remember that there is a difference between simply learning about EQ and applying that knowledge to your life. Just because you know you should do something doesn't mean you will—especially when you become overwhelmed by stress, which can override your best intentions. In order to permanently change behavior in ways that stand up under pressure, you need to learn how to overcome stress in the moment, and in your relationships, in order to remain emotionally aware.

    स्रोत : www.helpguide.org

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